Sorry for the delay folks, it was so hot we couldn't write anything. We'll try to catch youse up as best we can. For your information we were in Lao PDR until 21.04.2009.
Vang Vieng is a small town inbetween Luang Prabang and Vientiane. That is the only reason it exists. We arrived in town with the Irish couple who we teamed up with. We found a cheap guesthouse after the Lonely Planet recommendation was taken. It wasn't as good as Lonely Planet stated anyway. Who pays to sleep on a 1 inch mattress, honestly! FYI a cheap guesthouse in Lao is 100,000 kip which equates to AU$16.00. This included AC and bathroom. Not really that cheap in the middle of nowhere and a country that lives on 100,000 kip/week. But that's the absurdity of the place, tourism lives in a different world to what the locals do.
Anyway, enough. Vang Vieng has two things going for it. It has caves nearby and a river that tourists since forever have gone tubing down. So the day after we arrived in ridiculous heatwave that was Lao for the entire trip we went tubing down the river. The tubing business is run by a mafia crew of Lao guys who have stitched up the whole operation. They rent you a tractor tyre tube and drive you about 3.5km to the start. If you get back after 6pm they fine you for being late. Yes, they charge you because the river flows too slowly...genius really. In the last few years a number of bars have set-up on the side of the river to tempt tourists to stop and have a drink by giving free shots of Lao whisky and various other illegal substances. Back in the 70's it was apparently easier to get opium than beer and some tourists still think it's that way. But believe you me they stand out a mile. (I'll tell you about my two favourites at the end of this blog) So the big attraction of these bars is the zip wires they have constructed from bamboo and steel lines. To be safe they have dug the river deeper. On the other hand they haven't thought about tourists drinking and jumping off 5 metre high bamboo constructions which at the start of the jump have rocks sticking out of the water. As Em put it when you arrive in Lao you sign away all insurance claims just by entering the country. So with that in mind we both had a go. Note to self: 5 metres is a long way to drop into a moving river when you haven't done it before. I did survive so much so that Em had a go on a slightly smaller zip wire. Unfortunately we don't have any photos of her being unusually brave because she said it was too risky to take the camera. But not too risky to jump off a ramshackle flying fox that was being operated by a 12 year old!
After a few jumps off we moved on down the river and came across lots more bars, one had a huge concrete slide into the river and the biggest zip wire on the river (about 10 metres). We didn't try that one. Em and I weren't drinking on that day and you get a real impression of why most people who visit Lao. They are there to drink very cheaply and a lot to procure said illegal substances. It is illegal in case you were wondering but there are plenty of offers to tourists.
The best part of the journey was the huge party the local people were having down the river a bit, with tables and chairs in the water and everyone having a blast. Unfortunately nobody invited us to hang out but we still splashed lots of kids with water.
We floated down the river some more and realised we were getting perilous close to being fined for missing our deadline. We started at 3pm and had to be back by 6pm. The river did us no favours, at one point it seemed to be floating the other way. We had to walk the last kilometre because the river was too shallow to float on and ergo were fined for the privilige. I did complain when we got back that they didn't turn the river on fast enough, but I think it was lost on the guy.
It was a lot of fun none the less. When the river is flowing fast it's apparently 4x faster, which would be really cool.
The next day we convinced the Irish couple to come with us to visit a huge cave six km from town with a blue lagoon inside the cave that u could swim in. Lonely Planet said it had a blue lagoon so it must have right? We hired some bicycles and knocked over the 6km quite easily considering it was about 37C. So get to the cave and there are about 200 people celebrating NY. Now when I say celebrating Lao style that involves the biggest speakers you can find and turning them up until the entire countryside is reverberating. Then everyone stands right next to said speakers and jumps up and down while everyone sprays water in the air. Think gentle mosh pit with mudbath.
So we head on into the cave to escape the mayhem and get about 20 metres in when we realise that even with headlamps you can't see a thing, so we got a kid to guide us around with the express instruction to show us the blue lagoon. He showed us the buddha statue, the bats (which we didn't ask to see), a second chamber but no blue lagoon. Then when we get out he asks for his money and we ask where is the blue lagoon? His reply "No lagoon." Backed up by the adult next to him. The only lagoon within coeee of the cave was a pitiful little kiddie pool right next to one of the biggest speakers. I can't wait to write to Lonely Planet about their exhaustive research policy!!!!! Hence the 6km journey back to town wasn't so exciting.
So all four of us decided to exit the town and booked a bus/kayak trip to the capital of Lao, Vientiane.
The tour involved being put in the back of a truck with said characters: 2 Aussies, 2 Irish, 1 English, 1 Canadian, 1 Austrian and 2 somewheres (they didn't talk to anyone). It seemed like a good crew till I asked the Pom how long he had been in Lao and he stared at me like I had provided him with some esoteric secret to join Oprah's book club. He told me he'd been there about a month. And he had really enjoyed it. Now I don't care who you are you can't enjoy Lao for a whole month without being drunk everyday (BeerLao is possibly the nicest beer I've ever drunk, and at AU$2 a 660ml bottle whose arguing) or smoking yourself into paranoid oblivion. In this poor boy's case both was the answer.
My suspicions were confirmed when I asked him what part of England he was from and he told me central London. Yet he had never heard of Chiswick!!@! After an hour and a half of being buffeted by water buckets and hard plastic water bombs (Part of Em's brain came out her ear at one stage) we arrived at the start of our kayaking expedition. Now I say expedition, I mean kiddie river floating. It was an 8km stretch and had one rapid, very small rapid. Surprisingly the English guy and the people who dare not speak still managed to capsize their kayak. We stopped at the rapid for lunch (wonderful Lao bbq of skewered vegies and chicken). The English guy further confirmed by suspicions of him being an idiot by rolling a joint that would have needed a tripod to maintain structure had it been any bigger. We continued on after lunch and a strange thing started to happen. The English (I know, he's my blog writing dream come true) guy on two seperate occasions jumped out of the kayak and floated behind for a few minutes. Maybe it's a cure for constipation in England but when there are other people in the river, it's just weird.
Just before we finished our kayaking trip the guide asked who wanted to do a cliff jump into the river. Now I know I shouldn't say yes before finding out what it involved but I did anyway. I thought it would be a relatively easy 3 metre drop into soft, cuddly water. It turned out to be a 10 metre suicide drop over a blind edge. My first look over the edge resulted in legs that went so weak, modern science hasn't yet found a way of replicating. Oddly enough my good friend the English guy jumped without a hint of concern. His Olympics sanctioned urine test comes back next week. My guess is...
While myself, the Irishman and the Austrian girl were up there panicking and hoping we would get the courage to jump, the English guy jumped again. After I had backed away the second time, the Austrian girl decided to walk to edge and I just reassuringly said, "I'll let your mother know you loved her." To which she replied "She's dead already." So not to be outdone I replied "Well, that'll save time." She gave up jumping soon after I said that. I don't think she was offended, but you can never tell with these Austrians, they always sound so upbeat, like their skipping along to the Sound of Music soundtrack.
Eventually I fell over the edge by accident, it did take about ten minutes to remind myself that I probably wouldn't die. Em got it on video, hopefully I'll have a chance to put it on youtube/blog before I do something stupid again without the camera. Falling ten metres into water does sting, don't let anyone tell you different, especially if their English.
The last section of our trip to Vientiane was by minivan, which was very fortunate considering how many people were out throwing water at cars nearby. We saw the most awful post-accident on our way into town. A bunch of people sitting in the back of a ute had been thrown out after the driver ran into two scooters. The ute was upside down but we don't know if anyone died. One ambulance did turn up to help and check everyone but medical services aren't very advanced in Lao. It's surprising more people didn't end up in accidents considering how wet the roads were during the NY celebrations.
My two favourite Tourists
1) The first one was the little guy we bumped into at the tubing zip wire. I was behind him in the line climbing up and had the fortune of being on the platform when he took off. Except he didn't take off and let go, he held on so he could push off the platform on his way back. Now I'm not the biggest fan of heights and I'm sure it appeared strange to everyone that the next guy about to jump into midwire was crouching down to hold onto the platform. The guy did eventually let go but he did have a severe case of wanting to chew his face off. He really needed a chuppa chup but they are hard to find in Lao.
2) Number two and my favourite space cadet tourist in Lao comes from Ireland. Not to be mistaken for the Irish couple we spent a few days travelling with. He was orginally from Cork but had spent the previous three years in Japan pretending to teach English. How can anyone from Cork teach English to Japanese students, they can barely speak English themselves! This guy was a redhead with a beard and the reason he wins my favourite tourist award is because he as straight as a post told me about the suit he had custom made in Thailand just a few weeks before to coincide with his return to Ireland for the wedding season. He had paid a bit more than he wanted to for the suit but as he said, " I got it just the way I wanted it." Now what you think when he says that is not what he was thinking when he said that. His perfect suit was a green velvet with thick purple pin stripes and a silver tie. I repeat a red headed with beard Irishman in a green velvet suit with purple pin stripes and a silver tie. I need say no more.
Vientiane was a low point of the whole trip. It was hot humid and didn't cool down at night. It was also overpriced (NY), booked out and the entire city was closed, presumably to recover from one massive collective hangover.
The highlights of the stay were:
1. The air con cafe called JoMa which was a wall of cool as you came in. The made a great banana cake and a lovely cuppa.
2. The buddha park which Mum you would love but would need to get a few buckets of colour and throw them around.
3. Minor highlights were the Arc de Triumphe and the shiny gold temple.
Oh and you can arrange a visa in less than 24hrs which we did and promptly left this place.
The international airport was the most laid back airport we have seen, even comparing to Hobart which is only a fake international airport anyway.
Friday, 1 May 2009
Monday, 13 April 2009
Bus Trip to Vang Vieng or something like that
So we got up early to get to the Luang Prabang bus terminal to catch our VIP bus to Vang Vieng. We should have known it wouldn't go well when all the buses were made by Hyundai, but we're still a bit green. Supposedly the only difference between VIP buses and minivans is that VIPs always have air-con. As we found out at the hottest part of the day, air-con doesn't always work on VIP buses either.
The road to VV is considered one of the windiest roads on the major tourist trails in Lao PDR, so much so that the Lonely Planet Guide says if you don't take motion sickness tablets, you're mad. We took ours but there was one Aussie girl on the bus who didn't read the guide. We had to deal her some motion sickness tablets halfway.
You would think when you've turned green at the 400th bend in the road and someone gives you free motion sickness tablets that you would take the max dose and just say thank you. But no in Lao everyone is trying to give you fake motion sickness tablets so you can't trust anyone including fellow Aussies! Silly girl only took half the dose and correspondingly only felt a little bit better.
The trip itself was one of the most picturesque drives we'd been on. We were so high up in the mountains at one stage that the sponge cake wrapper that they gave to us at the start of the trip nearly burst open from the altitude pressure. For some reason the road commitee decided a road would be better at the top of the mountain instead of alongside it.
A lot of small villages were dotted along the edge of the road and the edge of the mountain at the same time. One of the villages was being supported by World Vision such is the socioeconomic background in such a remote part of the world. Kids seemed to go to school in Luang but there didn't even seem a notion of having a school or education as it would be of little benefit. It won't take you anywhere. There were a lot of satellite dishes though.
So about the hottest part of the day the air-con stopped working and one of the fan belts started smoking on the bus. When you're only 50kms from your destination that is torture especially when the driver decides he needs to slow down or stop. Oh yeah the music for 6 hours straight we got to listen to the best of Lao folk pop. It was only slightly better than the arthouse film that they screened. It was this experimental film where they filmed these people on a bus from Luang to VV in black and white. Not much happened though, I think the air-con must have broken on their bus too cause they looked a bit hot and bothered towards the end.
The road to VV is considered one of the windiest roads on the major tourist trails in Lao PDR, so much so that the Lonely Planet Guide says if you don't take motion sickness tablets, you're mad. We took ours but there was one Aussie girl on the bus who didn't read the guide. We had to deal her some motion sickness tablets halfway.
You would think when you've turned green at the 400th bend in the road and someone gives you free motion sickness tablets that you would take the max dose and just say thank you. But no in Lao everyone is trying to give you fake motion sickness tablets so you can't trust anyone including fellow Aussies! Silly girl only took half the dose and correspondingly only felt a little bit better.
The trip itself was one of the most picturesque drives we'd been on. We were so high up in the mountains at one stage that the sponge cake wrapper that they gave to us at the start of the trip nearly burst open from the altitude pressure. For some reason the road commitee decided a road would be better at the top of the mountain instead of alongside it.
A lot of small villages were dotted along the edge of the road and the edge of the mountain at the same time. One of the villages was being supported by World Vision such is the socioeconomic background in such a remote part of the world. Kids seemed to go to school in Luang but there didn't even seem a notion of having a school or education as it would be of little benefit. It won't take you anywhere. There were a lot of satellite dishes though.
So about the hottest part of the day the air-con stopped working and one of the fan belts started smoking on the bus. When you're only 50kms from your destination that is torture especially when the driver decides he needs to slow down or stop. Oh yeah the music for 6 hours straight we got to listen to the best of Lao folk pop. It was only slightly better than the arthouse film that they screened. It was this experimental film where they filmed these people on a bus from Luang to VV in black and white. Not much happened though, I think the air-con must have broken on their bus too cause they looked a bit hot and bothered towards the end.
Saturday, 11 April 2009
Luang Prabang Day 2
Today we met up with the crew from the boat and headed to the Kuang Si waterfalls. Its a 32km trip with 13 of us piled into the back of a songthaew and we got the first taste of the water throwing part of the new year festival.
The rules are simple.
1. It is fine to throw water into moving vehicles. In fact its better as they can't retaliate.
2. Water pistols are fine but buckets are more effective
3. Tourists are the favourite targets
We were drenched 10 times before we arrived at the falls by giggling locals. One bucket landed so effectively in my lap I was left with a small pond with a beetle floating in it.
We arrived at the falls and had some minor haggling arguments between the group on price but that was 10 minutes that couldn't spoil the day.
The falls were gorgeous. The water cascaded down into a pool that was turqoiuse and slightly opaque (I assume from the mineral content). The water ran over rocks but they were coated in what looked like stalitites but muddy and moss covered. The first two ponds you couldn't swim in so we took some photos and then went in search of the swimming area. We climbed up the side to the top of the falls and the water was much clearer and normal coloured and ran over rocks which you could walk over. It felt lovely to have cool water rushing over your feet and hear the roar of the falls. There was also this hole in the rock that ran all the way through to join the water coming out the end- like a reverse blow hole. We have this great video of it.
We then began to think the swimming thing was a farce but saw a sign to a cave and spring water 3km away. So we headed off. The distances quoted are always only loosely accurate and it was a fair trek to the cave but it was worth it. The cave extended for about 50m into the mountain. About half way in we caught up with 4 other guys who were navigating there way around with the flash off their cameras. There were glad we arrived with a headlamp. The cave had lots of little buddha statues and two larger ones as well as crystallised areas of the walls. A bit like jenolan but the mini version (one without lights or pathways). We explored in for a bit before seeing some bats. A which point the two females in the group decided rabies would not be fun and suggested we head back. The boys were a little dissapointed they didn't get to the end but I think were glad for the excuse we gave.
We powered back in the hope to find somewhere to cool off before meeting the songthaew to go back. The swimming area was huge and had three tiers (reminding me of the 46m buddha that was hiding from us in bangkok). There was a small waterfall you could jump off into the water and a rope swing that the locals made good use of as well. The water was beautiful and cool and it was rivalled Ko Rok for the best swimming so far. There were lots of locals being the weekend which made the atmosphere that bit more jubuliant. Jono jumped off the top of the waterfall, somewhat hesitantly but survived nonetheless. On our way back to the front gate we saw some rescued sunbears hanging about in their kindergarten playground enclosure. It was a mile in front of the elephant enclosure in Thailand. These sunbears had been poached and the poachers caught and hopefully dealt with, while the sunbears were put in a safe enclosure because they simply would have been caught again if they had been released back into the forest. They are the smallest bear in the world, but still have some big teeth.
We watched the sun set from the hill over the Mekong the had a few drinks with the Irish couple we met in a garden bar that serves Beerlao as well as buckets of tiger beer, lao lao (whisky) cocktails and gives a free shot of pink whisky on arrival.
Pink whisky is not good for you.
We had to run the last few hundreds metres home to escape the torrential downpour that started at 12am. As if the weather was enforcing the nightly curfew here.
The rules are simple.
1. It is fine to throw water into moving vehicles. In fact its better as they can't retaliate.
2. Water pistols are fine but buckets are more effective
3. Tourists are the favourite targets
We were drenched 10 times before we arrived at the falls by giggling locals. One bucket landed so effectively in my lap I was left with a small pond with a beetle floating in it.
We arrived at the falls and had some minor haggling arguments between the group on price but that was 10 minutes that couldn't spoil the day.
The falls were gorgeous. The water cascaded down into a pool that was turqoiuse and slightly opaque (I assume from the mineral content). The water ran over rocks but they were coated in what looked like stalitites but muddy and moss covered. The first two ponds you couldn't swim in so we took some photos and then went in search of the swimming area. We climbed up the side to the top of the falls and the water was much clearer and normal coloured and ran over rocks which you could walk over. It felt lovely to have cool water rushing over your feet and hear the roar of the falls. There was also this hole in the rock that ran all the way through to join the water coming out the end- like a reverse blow hole. We have this great video of it.
We then began to think the swimming thing was a farce but saw a sign to a cave and spring water 3km away. So we headed off. The distances quoted are always only loosely accurate and it was a fair trek to the cave but it was worth it. The cave extended for about 50m into the mountain. About half way in we caught up with 4 other guys who were navigating there way around with the flash off their cameras. There were glad we arrived with a headlamp. The cave had lots of little buddha statues and two larger ones as well as crystallised areas of the walls. A bit like jenolan but the mini version (one without lights or pathways). We explored in for a bit before seeing some bats. A which point the two females in the group decided rabies would not be fun and suggested we head back. The boys were a little dissapointed they didn't get to the end but I think were glad for the excuse we gave.
We powered back in the hope to find somewhere to cool off before meeting the songthaew to go back. The swimming area was huge and had three tiers (reminding me of the 46m buddha that was hiding from us in bangkok). There was a small waterfall you could jump off into the water and a rope swing that the locals made good use of as well. The water was beautiful and cool and it was rivalled Ko Rok for the best swimming so far. There were lots of locals being the weekend which made the atmosphere that bit more jubuliant. Jono jumped off the top of the waterfall, somewhat hesitantly but survived nonetheless. On our way back to the front gate we saw some rescued sunbears hanging about in their kindergarten playground enclosure. It was a mile in front of the elephant enclosure in Thailand. These sunbears had been poached and the poachers caught and hopefully dealt with, while the sunbears were put in a safe enclosure because they simply would have been caught again if they had been released back into the forest. They are the smallest bear in the world, but still have some big teeth.
We watched the sun set from the hill over the Mekong the had a few drinks with the Irish couple we met in a garden bar that serves Beerlao as well as buckets of tiger beer, lao lao (whisky) cocktails and gives a free shot of pink whisky on arrival.
Pink whisky is not good for you.
We had to run the last few hundreds metres home to escape the torrential downpour that started at 12am. As if the weather was enforcing the nightly curfew here.
Luang Prabang
The first night in Luang Prabang we stayed in a guesthouse that seems fine when we first arrived. Unfortunately it sounded like their was not only a karaoke party in the room til 3am (despite the 12am curfew) but also a shed of rooster from 4am. The mattress was a spring mattress but there was two layers of cotton between you and the springs. Anyway suffice to say not much sleep was had that night.
So we got up and checked out about 10 other places and moved somewhere in a street with a school that had quiet rooms (still one rooster and a few calling cats) with a decent bed.
We slept most of the day but had a nice meal at one of the street vendors and pottered about the night market. The night market here is really relaxing with very little haggling and some lovely hand made crafts. No puma rip offs, still some souvenirs shirts but you expect that. The colours are beautiful and its really very peaceful. There are some very fancy shops (french heritage buildings) and wine bars where those with euros and pounds can spend their dosh.
So we got up and checked out about 10 other places and moved somewhere in a street with a school that had quiet rooms (still one rooster and a few calling cats) with a decent bed.
We slept most of the day but had a nice meal at one of the street vendors and pottered about the night market. The night market here is really relaxing with very little haggling and some lovely hand made crafts. No puma rip offs, still some souvenirs shirts but you expect that. The colours are beautiful and its really very peaceful. There are some very fancy shops (french heritage buildings) and wine bars where those with euros and pounds can spend their dosh.
Friday, 10 April 2009
7th to 9th of April- Mighty Mekong
We first endured an 8 hour mini van ride to Chiang Khong. The border of Thailand and Lao.
Endured is putting it mildly. Our minivan ride left Chiang Mai at 12pm with a motley crew of three Norwegians, 1 Belgian, us and an American. There were a couple of others but they were unremarkable and I had taken my motion meds and was passed out for the first four hours. Sometimes they work too well. The halfway house was an interesting place only for the fact that the shop lady knew how to say what was on the menu and no stop for another 4 hours and then look at you blankly if you asked any questions. On the second stretch one of the Norwegian girls had the genius idea of opening a warm can of tuna in a barely airconditioned van. Never have I disconnected intelligence with blonde hair for 40 minutes straight without ever uttering a word out loud. I couldn't really say anything, they were all bigger than me.
Stayed the night in Chiang Khong at a new guesthouse before crossing the border at Huay Xai into Lao.
Part of the travel package is staying at the guesthouse and eating at the guest house. At dinner we shared a table with two Persians (not the fluffy kind) and the Belgian and the American. You can probably pick-up the theme at this stage. I think after that meal I had lost all desire to visit the USA ever again. Ever. Especially South Carolina. Enough said. Although sitting next to a woman (the Belgian) who can speak 6 languages was a little daunting.
First day we were tossed back and forth between places for hours (having our passports checked so many times I can't count) before finally boarding our boat to Pak Beng. We stayed the night in Pak Beng. I choose not to relive this experience.
Tossed back and forth we were. We also got caught up in the best scam for a group of tourists ever. So imagine you know you're heading to a river town and there is a max capacity and when you're about to get on the boat some of the tour operators tell you you're the last to leave and because it is Thai/Laos New Year (songkran festival - celebrates movement from pisces to aries, but everyone really just throws water at each other) there won't be any accommodation when you arrive and there especially won't be any because you are the last boat to leave that day. You know you're being rorted but you can't do anything about it. Facts - there was way too many places to stay when we got there we could barely get up the hill for kids trying to take us to guesthouses and we were the only boat ALL DAY.
When we got to Pak Beng that was the most crazy situation I've ever seen. As the boat was parking inbetween two other ferries, all the local kids started boarding our boat to help carry our bags. Now Lonely Planet warns you about this scam but they don't describe it very well. Imagine if you will a boat docking with about 70 people on board and as you hit the shore, everyone is starting to grab their bags to get off. Well imagine that 70 people turning into 100 people in two minutes for all the local kids trying to lift your bags, you telling them to rack off and then taking twice as long to get off the boat because they decide even though they climbed into the boat they would like to go out the front door!!!!
And then when you get off there are another 30 or so people trying to send you fifteen different directions to places you weren't meant to go or shouldn't. My favourite wowser of that night was this guy who walked up to me and asked us where we were staying. I told him and he asked me for the receipt. So I said do you work there and he said yes! Now that's an invitation I didn't need but I still got. At that point I took him up on the offer and said, "Great you can show us where it is then we can talk to the manager (he was just another scoundrel anyway so it wouldn't have helped in hindsight) and ask him if you work there." I kinda lost sight of him after 2 metres further up the hill. He must have dropped something I guess, poor bloke.
We decided to go try an Indian restaurant when we got unpacked and guess what we bumped into the Belgian and the American. Oh the joy! It turned out really well because the Amercian in her 20's was a republican. Now you can't get better odds than that. I was quite respectful but the Belgian, you know the one with 6 languages, put it so well. She simply said, " The problem with America is I can't vote for the President, but whoever gets elected affects ME!" Now that was the only time knowing the American where she didn't say anything for 30 seconds. Ahhh, the sound of one hand clapping. Em and I are thinking of moving to Belgium.
The next day of boating was quite pleasant in parts and we saw blue sky in patches for the first time in weeks (the haze in Chiang Mai was always in the way). The were some very picturesque little villages on the banks of the Mekong we arrived in Luang Prabang in daylight.
The part two was much better. The motley crew of pirates on the boat consisted of Dutch, Aussies, Danish and others. We met an Irish couple on their way to Australia who were quite normal and had the chance to impart some local knowledge that was hopefully useful. You know which footy team they should support and stuff like that. The dutch crew certainly were some of the lieveliest people on the boat, that may have had something to do with the abundance of Beerlao on board. My favourite boat member was a guy from New Zealand.
His name was Virion, or something like that. Generally I wouldn' talk to a Kiwi but while the Irish couple were down the back getting some food he decided he'd just sit in there seat. When the Irish guy got back to sit down, the Kiwi with his feet lazed out on the seats said hello and proceeded to apologise for sitting in his seat but then stayed there. Not only did he do that but he insulted the cookie monster t-shirt he was wearing! And then when he asked him where he was heading after Lao, which he'd said NZ eventually, the Irish guy added in he was going to be in Australia before that, the Kiwi, sorry Virion said I'm sorry you have to go to Australia and speak to Australians before you come to NZ. He didn't know where we were from at this stage. But he sure as heck did after he said that. I'm not sure if the guy was stupid or just tired from the boat trip but what is one Kiwi thinking when there are 6 Aussies on a boat and no Maori bouncers to kick you off. Needless to say he didn't ask me my name or anything else after that.
He did have it coming though. Within the first hour of being on the boat the second morning he decided he'd do his yoga routine at the front of the boat. And I don't mean any boring yoga stretches. I mean stand on your head while crossing your legs and shoving your crotch in the face of fellow travellers. A general note of recommendation for those thinking of doing some random personal exercise on a crowded boat over the Summer. It does not go down well, at all, at all. Especially if you're from New Zealand and you have to join the NRL because nobody else will play with you. I really enjoyed telling the Irish couple some Kiwi jokes for their trip to NZ in Jan.
Endured is putting it mildly. Our minivan ride left Chiang Mai at 12pm with a motley crew of three Norwegians, 1 Belgian, us and an American. There were a couple of others but they were unremarkable and I had taken my motion meds and was passed out for the first four hours. Sometimes they work too well. The halfway house was an interesting place only for the fact that the shop lady knew how to say what was on the menu and no stop for another 4 hours and then look at you blankly if you asked any questions. On the second stretch one of the Norwegian girls had the genius idea of opening a warm can of tuna in a barely airconditioned van. Never have I disconnected intelligence with blonde hair for 40 minutes straight without ever uttering a word out loud. I couldn't really say anything, they were all bigger than me.
Stayed the night in Chiang Khong at a new guesthouse before crossing the border at Huay Xai into Lao.
Part of the travel package is staying at the guesthouse and eating at the guest house. At dinner we shared a table with two Persians (not the fluffy kind) and the Belgian and the American. You can probably pick-up the theme at this stage. I think after that meal I had lost all desire to visit the USA ever again. Ever. Especially South Carolina. Enough said. Although sitting next to a woman (the Belgian) who can speak 6 languages was a little daunting.
First day we were tossed back and forth between places for hours (having our passports checked so many times I can't count) before finally boarding our boat to Pak Beng. We stayed the night in Pak Beng. I choose not to relive this experience.
Tossed back and forth we were. We also got caught up in the best scam for a group of tourists ever. So imagine you know you're heading to a river town and there is a max capacity and when you're about to get on the boat some of the tour operators tell you you're the last to leave and because it is Thai/Laos New Year (songkran festival - celebrates movement from pisces to aries, but everyone really just throws water at each other) there won't be any accommodation when you arrive and there especially won't be any because you are the last boat to leave that day. You know you're being rorted but you can't do anything about it. Facts - there was way too many places to stay when we got there we could barely get up the hill for kids trying to take us to guesthouses and we were the only boat ALL DAY.
When we got to Pak Beng that was the most crazy situation I've ever seen. As the boat was parking inbetween two other ferries, all the local kids started boarding our boat to help carry our bags. Now Lonely Planet warns you about this scam but they don't describe it very well. Imagine if you will a boat docking with about 70 people on board and as you hit the shore, everyone is starting to grab their bags to get off. Well imagine that 70 people turning into 100 people in two minutes for all the local kids trying to lift your bags, you telling them to rack off and then taking twice as long to get off the boat because they decide even though they climbed into the boat they would like to go out the front door!!!!
And then when you get off there are another 30 or so people trying to send you fifteen different directions to places you weren't meant to go or shouldn't. My favourite wowser of that night was this guy who walked up to me and asked us where we were staying. I told him and he asked me for the receipt. So I said do you work there and he said yes! Now that's an invitation I didn't need but I still got. At that point I took him up on the offer and said, "Great you can show us where it is then we can talk to the manager (he was just another scoundrel anyway so it wouldn't have helped in hindsight) and ask him if you work there." I kinda lost sight of him after 2 metres further up the hill. He must have dropped something I guess, poor bloke.
We decided to go try an Indian restaurant when we got unpacked and guess what we bumped into the Belgian and the American. Oh the joy! It turned out really well because the Amercian in her 20's was a republican. Now you can't get better odds than that. I was quite respectful but the Belgian, you know the one with 6 languages, put it so well. She simply said, " The problem with America is I can't vote for the President, but whoever gets elected affects ME!" Now that was the only time knowing the American where she didn't say anything for 30 seconds. Ahhh, the sound of one hand clapping. Em and I are thinking of moving to Belgium.
The next day of boating was quite pleasant in parts and we saw blue sky in patches for the first time in weeks (the haze in Chiang Mai was always in the way). The were some very picturesque little villages on the banks of the Mekong we arrived in Luang Prabang in daylight.
The part two was much better. The motley crew of pirates on the boat consisted of Dutch, Aussies, Danish and others. We met an Irish couple on their way to Australia who were quite normal and had the chance to impart some local knowledge that was hopefully useful. You know which footy team they should support and stuff like that. The dutch crew certainly were some of the lieveliest people on the boat, that may have had something to do with the abundance of Beerlao on board. My favourite boat member was a guy from New Zealand.
His name was Virion, or something like that. Generally I wouldn' talk to a Kiwi but while the Irish couple were down the back getting some food he decided he'd just sit in there seat. When the Irish guy got back to sit down, the Kiwi with his feet lazed out on the seats said hello and proceeded to apologise for sitting in his seat but then stayed there. Not only did he do that but he insulted the cookie monster t-shirt he was wearing! And then when he asked him where he was heading after Lao, which he'd said NZ eventually, the Irish guy added in he was going to be in Australia before that, the Kiwi, sorry Virion said I'm sorry you have to go to Australia and speak to Australians before you come to NZ. He didn't know where we were from at this stage. But he sure as heck did after he said that. I'm not sure if the guy was stupid or just tired from the boat trip but what is one Kiwi thinking when there are 6 Aussies on a boat and no Maori bouncers to kick you off. Needless to say he didn't ask me my name or anything else after that.
He did have it coming though. Within the first hour of being on the boat the second morning he decided he'd do his yoga routine at the front of the boat. And I don't mean any boring yoga stretches. I mean stand on your head while crossing your legs and shoving your crotch in the face of fellow travellers. A general note of recommendation for those thinking of doing some random personal exercise on a crowded boat over the Summer. It does not go down well, at all, at all. Especially if you're from New Zealand and you have to join the NRL because nobody else will play with you. I really enjoyed telling the Irish couple some Kiwi jokes for their trip to NZ in Jan.
Monday, 6 April 2009
Monday 6th of April
Em's Birthday in Chiang Mai.
Interestingly spas in thailand are run out of people's homes. It was very relaxing but I did have to convince myself that the salt body scrubbing that was really verging on torture was therapeutic. I don't know if doxycycline is making my skin sensitive or not but I felt like my skin was burning. The wrap was fantastic and the massage lovely (no yoga style stretches or pummeling).
Relaxed and called home in the afternoon and then out to dinner. Went to the Chiang Mai night bazaar to get some seafood for dinner, they have the biggest lobsters in the world here not to mention the King prawns. It has quite a relaxed atmosphere especially seeing there aren't many tourists here.
Tomorrow we head to the border between Laos and Thailand. It takes about three days to get to our destination (Luang Prabang) between minivan and boats, staying overnight in small villages.
For the first time in Em's birthday history we were somewhere hot on her birthday, enough to have a real pool party and alas nowhere near water.
What was arguably the best part of the day was when we were out at breakfast and I asked our waiter for the bill/cheque (You use both terms here so they understand because the USA/UK terminology is confusing.) So the guy says yes, goes away and this guy we've never seen walks over and tells us how much the breakfast cost. Now I can only assume his name was Bill and we'd unwittingly asked to speak to him not knowing that he had a french surname.
To be really pampered we had a 2.5hour spa package. Herbal steam, body scrub, body wrap, facial and aromatherapy oil massage.Interestingly spas in thailand are run out of people's homes. It was very relaxing but I did have to convince myself that the salt body scrubbing that was really verging on torture was therapeutic. I don't know if doxycycline is making my skin sensitive or not but I felt like my skin was burning. The wrap was fantastic and the massage lovely (no yoga style stretches or pummeling).
Relaxed and called home in the afternoon and then out to dinner. Went to the Chiang Mai night bazaar to get some seafood for dinner, they have the biggest lobsters in the world here not to mention the King prawns. It has quite a relaxed atmosphere especially seeing there aren't many tourists here.
Tomorrow we head to the border between Laos and Thailand. It takes about three days to get to our destination (Luang Prabang) between minivan and boats, staying overnight in small villages.
Sunday 5th April
We went gathering food for breakfast at our guesthouse last night. Managed to find bread, butter (at Tescos- there was extra walking involved for this) a young coconut and picked up two bags of fruit (rockmelon and watermelon- already cut into beautifully shaped portions- its held together with a bamboo skewer for eating on the run). I managed to open the coconut with a meat cleaver without ending up in hospital and we also were adventurous and picked up some sticky sweet stuffed covered in coconut jelly and wrapped in a banana leaf.
We then went to the Insect Museum. Tim and Steph also went here when they were here. The guy is really eccentric and despite his best efforts I still intend to kill every mosquito that comes near me (even if they just want to give me a kiss as he suggested) some species of mosquito may be good but I'm not taking the chance. He told a lovely story about the lucky vulture egg (stone) that his grandmoher gave him and a rather unpleasant sorry about how he survived malaria without treatment.
He was treated just not by anything you'd consider medicine. Think cutting to make you bleed and that's the medicine he was subjected to. He did get better, but that which precedes a good outcome is not necessarily the cause of it. Of the 436 mosquitos there are 10 that transmit disease. This guy was a trained lawyer so I don't believe him especially seeing his wife who has a phd in entomology said in a newspaper interview, " Mozzies are my enemy." Yep that'll do it for me, the chick whose been studying them for 50 years said she doesn't like them and I'm not one to disagree with that.
After the museum we walked to the vegetarian centre cafeteria. When we arrived it looked rather closed beacuse its closed on the weekend but I hadn't realised that) one of the women who worked there saw us and came up. She said that they would be open at 6am tomorrow, because 6 sounded rather early I tried to ask when they closed. I'm not sure how it happened but she decided to usher us into the centre, sit us down and let us share their lunch. Like an italain grandmother or thai one probably she filled our bowls and got us water and even gave us sweet tamarind to eat. It was realy lovely and the food was really yummy. She told us she had been working there for 10 years and taught the new staff how to cook. We left feeling very lucky and very surpised.
When Em says she hadn't realised they weren't open on the weekend, what she really means is she didn't read the open Mon-Fri in the guidebook, and nearly had us abducted by old Thai woman who wanted us to eat raw vegies without any meat at all. Ahhh the pain.
We then walked to Airport Plaza and saw Fast and Furious 4. Jono will have to comment on the movie.
We then went to the Insect Museum. Tim and Steph also went here when they were here. The guy is really eccentric and despite his best efforts I still intend to kill every mosquito that comes near me (even if they just want to give me a kiss as he suggested) some species of mosquito may be good but I'm not taking the chance. He told a lovely story about the lucky vulture egg (stone) that his grandmoher gave him and a rather unpleasant sorry about how he survived malaria without treatment.
He was treated just not by anything you'd consider medicine. Think cutting to make you bleed and that's the medicine he was subjected to. He did get better, but that which precedes a good outcome is not necessarily the cause of it. Of the 436 mosquitos there are 10 that transmit disease. This guy was a trained lawyer so I don't believe him especially seeing his wife who has a phd in entomology said in a newspaper interview, " Mozzies are my enemy." Yep that'll do it for me, the chick whose been studying them for 50 years said she doesn't like them and I'm not one to disagree with that.
After the museum we walked to the vegetarian centre cafeteria. When we arrived it looked rather closed beacuse its closed on the weekend but I hadn't realised that) one of the women who worked there saw us and came up. She said that they would be open at 6am tomorrow, because 6 sounded rather early I tried to ask when they closed. I'm not sure how it happened but she decided to usher us into the centre, sit us down and let us share their lunch. Like an italain grandmother or thai one probably she filled our bowls and got us water and even gave us sweet tamarind to eat. It was realy lovely and the food was really yummy. She told us she had been working there for 10 years and taught the new staff how to cook. We left feeling very lucky and very surpised.
When Em says she hadn't realised they weren't open on the weekend, what she really means is she didn't read the open Mon-Fri in the guidebook, and nearly had us abducted by old Thai woman who wanted us to eat raw vegies without any meat at all. Ahhh the pain.
We then walked to Airport Plaza and saw Fast and Furious 4. Jono will have to comment on the movie.
Think of a really good film and then know this one is better. Unfortunately there seem to be less cars to play with than the previous movies but the Skyline gets centre stage again. Do yourselves a favour... What can I say Vin Diesel is back.
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