Dalat

We had two nights in Dalat. We saw the crazy house and a few other sights but the highlight was the breakfast we had at the guesthouse. They had every tropical fruit you can name, avocados, yummy orange juice mixed with passionfruit. They also had vegemite.

We were followed by an Easy Rider guide (the guys who show you around on the back of bikes) which didn't help the relaxing experience. We decided to head off to Saigon and braved another bus ride thankfully on a different road!

 

They say Dalat is a bit like the Swiss Alps but we couldn't quite get the similarities due to the hundreds of greenhouses you drive past on the way in from the North road. And the fact that every Hotel tries to outgrow itself next to its competitors. It ends up looking like a CBD in the mountains. 

Crazy Bus Adventures

So we decided that instead of bus to Danang, train to Nha Trang then bus to Dalat we would brave the overnight bus to Nha Trang and the day bus to Dalat.

The lights on the overnight/sleeper bus got turned off at 7pm, which meant we couldn't even read to pass the time. This I assume was to allow people to sleep but the driver kept his radio going all night. Oh and we stopped for fuel after 30 mins and then again at 1130pm (despite lights out at 7pm remember) where all the lights went on for 30mins. The assistant driver though it was ok to smoke in the toilet (distributing it through the entire bus via the air con) and the driver was all we expected in the swerving on blind corners, honking every 10mins throughout the whole night.

Thinking of naming something. If you have to name something a 'sleeping' bus rather than a plain old simple bus with reclining seats, you are trying to psych-op the potential customers. For there was no sleeping to be had. First of all you were at the mercy of the driver who felt, yes light is bad but loud Vietnamese radio is good. Coupled with rodeo style swerves from the wrong side of the road that nearly bumped me out of my second level bunk more than once (I refused to put a seat belt on, lest I get molested in the middle of the night by the smoking assistant driver) (yes he was that weird). More than once I thought the drivers number was up and we were just unnecessary servants for the after-life. Let's just say the crash scene would have looked really weird with 20 tourists lying flat down on a bus, with seatbelts on (except me). Everytime the driver took an organised right hand turn to avoid oncoming traffic, someone's water or pillow went flying across the bus. Water at 60km/h hurts. Not to mention that at 5 foot 9 inches I reached the maximum lentgh of the reclining bed. I don't know what the 6 foot + Pom did down the back but I never saw him get off the bus the next morning. And my favourite part of the whole trip was waking us all up at 5am and then stopping five minutes later so they didn't arrive too early at the bus station; cause everyone was having such a good time they didn't want it to end!!!

Anyways that was the most uneventful part of the journey. We had breakkie and a one hour wait at Nha Trang and pottered around the beach for a bit before boarding another bus to Dalat.

The ride started out as normal (a stop for fuel after an hour) and insane driver, but as we wound our way up the hill the road started to get a little less wide and the hills a little closer. We then can to a stop behind a queue of cars. Jono went to look at what was happening and remembering Steph's wish "she hadn't looked" experience on the overnight bus I waited a while. Eventually I went to check it out.

There had been a fairly substantial landslide that had covered the road but this looked like it had been there a while as there were tyre trails through it. What had stopped the traffic was that one of the buses had got stuck over one section. Later in the day someone told us it had actually been stuck overnight but we don't know. They did manage to get that bus off the rise but the next bus got stuck too. After about an hour a digger arrived and two hours later the road had been cleared and we were able to get through. Just before we got through torrential rain started and the entire mountainside was gushing with mud waterfalls.

Imagine three or four buses and 20 or so cars and 4wds split either side of said stranded bus. Then imagine all those people from those machines standing around said stuck bus. Doing nothing except watching said bus driver trying to dig up a rock the size of a 4wd tyre. It didn't work. I tried to help him. Although with a bit of help from an American family who only spoke English, REALLY LOUDLY, everyone realised that they knew nothing about stuck buses on hillsides. And that if listened to REALLY carefully the American family would provide them with 6 years worth of Engineering qualifications so that they too could understand that the straight underside edge of the bus was always going to get stuck because the angle of the rocks and the road was short and steep not long and protracted like their explanations. Ahhh, haven't they done enough in this country already. (The best part was the American adult daughter after this was all over when I was walking back to the bus said, "People are so stupid." I wanted to oh how I wanted to reply in the affirmative but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.)

But once the first bus was freed instead of bringing in the digger to clean up the road, they powers that be (No, not the American family) started letting a few cars and 4wds through and then another bus...that got stuck. Whooo. 2 hours later the digger had finally cleared what was left of the shabbiestly built road and the crew of dimwits who got the bus stuck in the first place had propped up the bus enough for it to not leave it's axle on the road and we were outta there.

The amusing parts of this debacle were that once the digger had cleared part of the way the motorcyclists started to form a group trying to pass and actually honking at the digger. Just stupid, as they did actually get through but got stuck on the other side by the bus. Also once the road was clear the honking matches started as the buses tried to fight their way through the narrow section.

The rest of the ride we marvelled at the ingenuity and craftmanship the went into making this road. We suspect it will wash away in sections fairly soon, at least four sections of retaining wall had already fallen apart and the road was flooded in as many sections where the drainage was useless. The last section of the road is actually being built and this explains some of the issues. The road is built by a group of locals ranging from about 14 to 40, none of which appeared to have any idea of engineering. They gave a bunch of people some cement and some of the rocks that had already fallen off the mountainside and said 'build a retaining wall, you know how to do that right?'.

Oh it was so much better than that. There are perhaps 100 sections of waterfalls that cross the main road. Somebody must have been up there when there hadn't been any rain for months because they have constructed a water system so complex the Romans wouldn't know where to start. Some of it doesn't go anywhere, whereas other parts seem to flow straight onto the road to dislodge it while others flow onto the softest red earth you'll ever see causing even more landslides. Richard Pratt's tax returns were less complex than this. But the retaining walls were the best by a mile. We got to see a few being built and some of them were nowhere near a bit of dirt let alone a face of a mountain. And don't think they would fill the space in later, they don't have fancy things called machines, they might wash away. All the rocks they were using for the walls were ON THE ROAD, not by the edge, on it!!! Piled up nice and high. And did it occur to them to maybe run a diverting drain above the retaining walls? Well no, nobody would have a job to rebuild the wall if you did that.

We did eventually arrive in Dalat. French Alps is really really a stretch.

Our hotel is called Dreams. The LP guide says it really is where Dreams are made. Well only if your dream is to be stuck in the complimentary sauna with a Canadian who sounds like Sarah Pallin. Then yeah.

Hoi An

Great food. Really good accommodation at a bargain price and gorgeous lanterned streets with some helpful friendly people.

We have had a great time here. Firstly we managed to bargain our hotel room down to $16 US from about $25 US. Everyone in the place had just checked out and we knew we would stay a few days so we hung out until she gave in. The room had clean crisp sheets, a bath, fridge and a TV with cable and the hotel also had pool in the garden out the back.

We didn't do much sightseeing, in fact we didn't even venture to the beach 5kms away. Our days consisted of eating until we felt nauseous (Em couldn't even finish her chocolate mousse desert which I think is unheard of), lounging in the cool room watching movies and going swimming in the pool.

We had some yummy croissants at the cargo cafe, scrumptious 5 course dinner cooked by Mr Kim (whose waiters were hilarious- one guy persisted in showing us how to eat each meal to the point where Jono was convinced he was going to try the aeroplane spoon technique), had genuinely friendly service from a family restaurant across the road from the hotel and one dinner at this collection of street styled vendors near the waterfront. Our waitress and cook were a sister team and we tried all the Hoi An speciliaties (white rose- shrimp wrapped in rice flour dumpling, cau lao- pasta like noodles with salad and tofu and beansprouts and fresh spring rolls). We also got a little tipsy on local beer (bia hoi is the fresh beer and is quite low alcohol and bia tuoi is the next step up, more alcohol but tastes about the same at 4,000 dong a glass- cheaper than water).

We also splurged on some clothes and even had to buy a bag to put them in. I justify this by saying the bag will be useful in Europe. That and it only cost AUS$14- even if the zippers don't work it's still good value.

We visited the Lifestart Foundation workshop, which was set-up by a Melbourne lady (Essendon) to fund orphanages and street kids training in skilled positions. Em got to meet the lady who made her stuffed elephant 'Eddie'. She had a treatable patentcy in her heart that went undiagnosed as a child and now needs a full heart-lung transplant. The foundation sponsored her because her previous job could not pay for the medications she needs. She was so good and enthusiastic at her job that she is now a supervisor. Makes you think you're a right loser when you're wishing you could buy more suits. You can look them up at lifestartfoundation.org. Great place.

As long as we ignore the bank balance it was a perfect few days. Next we are off to Dalat, where it will be cooler and they make quite nice wine.

Hue

Needless to say arriving in Hue was a huge relief. I was even nonplussed by the constant touts from moto drivers for a few days.

We made up for a few days of living on chips and oreos by eating yummy food with some substance. Had a japanse dinner the first night which revived Jono's appreciation for chicken.The previous few days he (I'm sure) was served up some old jaundiced rooster that had been poached then left to dry out for a few days. We had breakfast a On Thu Wheels and one of the kids who was watching cartoons came over and tried to clear the table for us. Unfortuantely he couldn't quite balance the plates and ended up dropping one on the floor. That didn't worry him much though as his mother was cleaning it up he came over to the table again. He picked up our little dish of sugar and stuck his finger in to eat some. Jono tried to stop him and must have actually got the word for "no" spot on as he stopped and looked up. As if to say 'Well if I can't use my finger...' he looks down at the bowl and licks the sugar from the bowl. At this point the stern faces we were trying to keep cracked and we burst out laughing. He was a little confused but not that bothered.

The next day we wandered around the citadel and the citadel within a citadel and spent 30 mins trying to find the citadel within a citadel within a citadel before realising we had passed it on our way to trying to find it. It was quite pleasant in the imperial enclosure and Jono climbed up one of the tanks on display in front of one of the museums. A fairly laid back day and we again stuffed our faces at the Indian resturant in town.

Our plan for the third day was to cycle to the temple which has the car that the monk that burnt himself in protest to the Vietnam War is on display and then to cycle to the closet of the royal tombs. Tim and Steph had said it was the best one so we thought one would be enough.

The trip to the Thien Mu Pagado was strainght foward and we wandered about the temple for a bit before heading of the tombs.

The map in the lonely planet guide is useless and maybe we are a bit useless at following maps. We ended up cycling to the second furthest tomb Khai Dinh. We thought we were at Thieu Tri but had overshot and cycled 10km out of town. We looked at the tomb which was pretty impressive, very ornate and extravagant. The 36 steps that lead up to it were impressive but it is apparently a display of the decline of vietnamese culture, as it is unlike the other tombs and has much more European influence.

So we headed back towards town in search of Tu Duc. On the way we meet a group of school girls who came over while we were studying the map. They asked Jono to sing a song but he refused suggesting they should ask me. After a pretty tone deaf rendition of Row Row Row your boat we asked for a song in return. 5 girls say back 'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine....".It was really lovely, very sweet and a little funny. So we were on our way again and again we overshot and had to cycle 3km back out of town up a fairly hilly section. We did eventually get to Tu Duc Tomb and it does have a lovely garden.

We splashed out on the degustation dinner at Y Thao garden which was an experience. We have a photo of the pineapple peacock our spring rolls came on. We also splurged on a cyclo ride home as the legs started to give in. I did feel a little sorry for the guy having to cycle two people up the hill on the bridge but he ripped us of at the end so I should have saved my pity for someone more derserving!

Dong Hoi, Dong Ha and the DMZ

The train ride to Dong Hoi was great for the first 5 hours, beautiful scenery and much calmer than the roads. However there were only hard seats left when we booked and we had to sit on different sides of the train. This left us open to the experience of locals with no concept of personal space. At one point Jono had one person sleeping under him and three people squeezed onto the two person hard seat (sized for two vietnamese people). The granny opposite me thought it was fine to put her feet up on the seat and lean them on me. Now I am not that worried by granny feet but both of us had been to the toilet before this.. the loo is a metal surface with a hole that goes down to the tracks, one of the lovely hoses included so the entire floor is wet. She had been twice and one of the trips she took toilet paper, so her feet as they slipped out of her plastic sandals and onto my leg were radioactive as far as I was concerned. Shaking that memory off will be hard.

So we did eventually arrive in Dong Hoi and managed to bargain our way down to 40, 000 dong for the cab to the hotel. The owner was really lovely and cooked us some noodles when we arrived.

We awoke to a downpour, and the owner explained it was Reunifcation/Liberation day which meant he was booked out and all the rooms would be double the price the next day and most are also booked out. So we thought we would go to Dong Ha and get to the DMZ (demilitarised zone) from there. We were aiming to avoid Dong Ha as lonely planet says there is no conceivable reason to visit save to go to the DMZ but the owner of the hotel said there would be more accommodation choices there. So off we went to the bus station. We arrived to have a very helpful chick tell us that there are no buses to Dong Ha (this we gleaned from the fact she said no to every question we asked, leaning back in her chair and trying to pretend we were not there). A nice guy thankfully explained to us that we could get off in Dong Ha (if we asked the driver) but we had to buy a ticket to Hue.

Our bus was a minivan which had probably survived the Vietnam war. It leaked from every possible corner, join and window. We were pushed to the back seat and the pimp who tried to run the show attempted to pack as many people and bags of stuff as possible onto the bus. At the high point we had our packs on our laps on the back seat breathing in not only passive smoke from some genius who thought it was okay to smoke on a fully packed bus with all the windows closed because of the torrential rain but also exhaust fumes flowing in through the rust holes in the floor.

Dong Ha was all lonely planet said it would be and then a little more revolting. The hotel had dead cockaroachs and cigarette butts on the floor and a shiny stretchy sheet that seemed to come off the bed leaving you sleeping on a bare mattress. Jono didn't even tell me about the used syringes on the window sill until after we left.

The owner of the hotel was very friendly though and he took us on a tour in a minivan to the DMZ (just us and the girl we met in Ninh Binh). The Vinh Moc tunnels were really amazing to see. There are 3 levels; the deepest is 24m underground and they extend an amazing distance. There were lots of little family rooms on the cilivian level and then rooms for soldiers on the military level. The tunnels were tall enough to walk through with a stoop for us but I would not want to be a tall european and try to get around. The tunnels had a few exits to the beach and there were a few ventilation shafts (one of which was made from the most succesiful US bomb attempt- it didn't explode). They gave you perspective on how deep down you were. It was impressive and very sobering to think people lived there for 4 years. 17 babies were born down there.

We also saw the Khe San combat base which doesn't really exist since the US destroyed the entire thing before they left so there was nothing for propoganda (they found some stiff though). We climbed onto one of the tanks and generally got a bit freaked out in the thick fog that surrounds the place. There was a combat helicopter and a chinook transport helicopter there. They were still very well intact but they didn't look like the kind of thing a government defense force would pay for, more like an enthusaists toy. We got to see the difference between AK-47s(Russian made for North Vietnamese) and M-16s(US). The AK was much smaller but apparently would work after being submerged in water or buried hidden underground for months, whereas the M-16 generally did more malfunctiong than actual firing.

A minor hick up with getting a bus out of Dong Ha to Hue but after a few kms of walking and some bargaining we got on a minivan. We had an amusing time trying to improve our vietnamese learning the phrases for no thank you, i don't want that, i don't like that and leave me alone to try to get rid of the persistent drink selling vendors.

Ninh Binh

So we spent our last morning in Hanoi purchasing weasel coffee. Weasel coffee is coffee that has been fed to weasels and then its excreted in the stool and the bean is reshaped or so the story goes...

It's only 3 or so hours from Hanoi which was great except the guy opposite us kept smoking in a non-smoking carriage. Took LPlanet's advice and stayed at Thanh Thuy Hotel. Apart from being pestered while eating your breakfast to go on tours they were unbelievably rude. Still we somehow got a good room for US$10/night with a little sad face routine. The only honest person that worked there was our tour guide Luc, who was from Halong Bay and had only been there 2 months.

The next day we headed out with Luc on motorbikes with Jono somehow being convinced to drive his own bike in a country that drives on the wrong side of the road!

We visited Tam Coc -basically a floodplain river, where women or man in our case paddle you along the river while old ladies try to sell you bottles of beer for extortionary prices. They even go so far as to embarass you into buying by asking you to buy a beer for the boat rower. Then the boat man asked us a for a tip even after we helped him row! We gave them a lesson in negative punishment - we won. It was a very beautiful trip, especially cool was the goats high up on the mountains either side of the river.

Ancient Capital Hoa Lu- lots of old buildings for very small people. Better visit it before progress ends up on top of it.

Floating Village Kenh Ga - not really a floating village anymore, everyone lives in houses on the banks of the river. Guy that paddled us around was genuinely a nice guy (after we paid anyway) and even helped us learn to count to ten (in vietnamese you doubters!!) not that we can remember it now without looking it up. Showed us the Catholic Cathedral in town. Wanted to show us inside but it was locked. Very lovely church none the less. Catholicism is the second biggest religion in Vietnam. He couldn't explain to us how it came to be the religion of the village though. We drank lots of tea with him and he evn tried to get us on the whiskey when we got back. At least Jono had the excuse he was driving.

Mua Cave - which is actually a really long staircase to the top of a mountain and a really small cave tunnel that looks over to Tam Coc. Breathtaking view from the top. Photos would never do it justice. Somehow survived US bombing very well. Able to see town of Ninh Binh from it. A bit like a Himalayan staircase to a hidden monastery except not very hidden.

Next day the powers that be at the hotel stole our trusty driver/guide and tried to palm us off to another driver so we decided to go ourselves to Cuc Phuong National Park and Primate Centre. We mainly just wanted to see the Primate Centre and had the pleasure of motorbiking in howling rain about 80kms to get there. When we got there the office told us it was better to wait till the afternoon to visit the primate enclosure and we should ride into the park to have a look. So we did and Jono nearly committed murder when they charged us 3000 dong to park our motorbike in the rain, even though you pay to enter the park before that and then proceeded to let all the Vietnamese visitors park undercover. So much so that he let the park ranger at the office have it....they'll probably be getting an email soon too. After we've left the country.

So we waited around to see the primates after turning right back around in the national park and was treated to a blindingly long 10 minute wander around the primate centre. Captivating is too strong a word. The fact they think people should visit this place is delusional enough to have them committed. So we got back on our bike and headed home in the rain. A bus overtaking another bus on a narrow bridge tried to run us over about 5km from the hotel. The tourist bureau will be getting an email about the standard of bus drivers in this country too by the way. They seem to have got their bus licenses from ACME School of Stunt Buses.

Booked our train to Dong Hoi for the next day. Only had hard seats available because it was Liberation Day in Vietnam and everyone was travelling to the country.

Halong Bay

We went on a 2 day tour of the bay, one night on the boat and one night at a resort on Cat Ba Island.


We had some great seafood on the boat, even managed to crack apart a mini crab for starters. Unfortunately we were on the boat with only two other tourists, both English accountants. Not the most interesting people on the planet.

Again the understatement of the century. Imagine if you will, two people from an island that hasn't tasted real food for over a century and has then decided as a future profession a job so boring that it would bore the arse out of a wooden horse, you can probably conceive of the two people we spent two days on a boat. Not only that we found out when the Brits go on holiday they don't do anything! They sit around thinking about being on holiday but secretly wishing they were back in England at home in front of the tv, dipping biscuits into weak tea.


Kayaking became our personal mission to remove as much rubbish from the water as possible, this was quite amusing to the boat staff as Jono pulled can after bottle after bag of rubbish from the hull of the kayak.

The water and surrounding karst landscape was extremely beautiful. Very easy to get lost. We were a little dissapointed the guide couldn't show us a cave with an abandoned pirate ship...thems the breaks.

Halong Bay is a world heritage listed area. After seeing what Tasmania tries to do to some of its most pristine and beautiful environment I was hoping Vietnam, after being hammered with US pollution (Napalm, Agent Orange and UXO) would have a more advanced system in place to deal with environemntal pollution. Unfortunately poverty is too commonplace to allow sufficient funds to deal with it efficiently. Amazingly Tasmania (the government and Gunns that is) still thinks it's ok to pollute its waterways and drinking water with a close cousin of Agent Orange called Atrazine(banned in Europe). I smell a class action coming on!!!! Hence forth it was a mission to pick up as much rubbish out of the water as possible. People don't realise cigarette butts contain a plastic which takes up to 10 years to decompose. We gave the boat captain 20,000 dong as thanks for taking the rubbish away. Hopefully he didn't throw it over the other side of the boat.

It was quite misty which made it quite mystical and the resort was really plush which was nice for a night.

Our guide was the type that really made me see red but Jono wasn't really riled up at all and interesting reversal of roles for a few days. He gave us the itinerary which began, we will get up at 700, breakfast at 730 and leave for kayaking at 800 or 810. Sorry, the boat had four people on it but we have a 10 minute window! He actually knocked on our door to make sure we were up. Seriously dude what happens if we are 1/2 an hour late. He also liked to tell stories (which were long winded and devoid of punch lines) when we were in the middle of a beautiful lagoon when we made it plain that we could entertain ourselves. When we went 50m away from his kayak he starts getting upset and holding his hand in the air like a primary school teacher. Anyway I'll stop now.

On Cat Ba Island we hired a bike and rode to the hospital cave which was used during the war, solid concrete bunker underground which was really impressive. On the way back it rained which was a bit of a dampener on the day (we also helped two people who had slid out on their bike and broken the front plastic on their brand new bike- thankfully they were fine).

Hanoi

We were picked up at the airport by the hotel to avoid the nightmare taxi scams. The drivers here are even more insane than Bangkok and like to use their horns whenever possible.

The rules I have gathered are:

When overtaking on the wrong side of the road you must honk just as you appear in someones bling spot. This is best if you area a freight truck and you are honking at a cyclist.

If you overtake on the wrong side of the road all you need to do is flash your lights at the people drivingh straight at you on the other side, this neagtes all responsibility for near fatal injuries.

If the traffic slows down it is obviously because no one is honking their horns.

We had a great dinner at Little Hanoi 2 which has roll your own fresh rice paper rolls with yummy herbs... delicious.

Next day we explored the old quarter and saw the water puppets.

Vang Vieng and Vientiane

Sorry for the delay folks, it was so hot we couldn't write anything. We'll try to catch youse up as best we can. For your information we were in Lao PDR until 21.04.2009.

Vang Vieng is a small town inbetween Luang Prabang and Vientiane. That is the only reason it exists. We arrived in town with the Irish couple who we teamed up with. We found a cheap guesthouse after the Lonely Planet recommendation was taken. It wasn't as good as Lonely Planet stated anyway. Who pays to sleep on a 1 inch mattress, honestly! FYI a cheap guesthouse in Lao is 100,000 kip which equates to AU$16.00. This included AC and bathroom. Not really that cheap in the middle of nowhere and a country that lives on 100,000 kip/week. But that's the absurdity of the place, tourism lives in a different world to what the locals do.

Anyway, enough. Vang Vieng has two things going for it. It has caves nearby and a river that tourists since forever have gone tubing down. So the day after we arrived in ridiculous heatwave that was Lao for the entire trip we went tubing down the river. The tubing business is run by a mafia crew of Lao guys who have stitched up the whole operation. They rent you a tractor tyre tube and drive you about 3.5km to the start. If you get back after 6pm they fine you for being late. Yes, they charge you because the river flows too slowly...genius really. In the last few years a number of bars have set-up on the side of the river to tempt tourists to stop and have a drink by giving free shots of Lao whisky and various other illegal substances. Back in the 70's it was apparently easier to get opium than beer and some tourists still think it's that way. But believe you me they stand out a mile. (I'll tell you about my two favourites at the end of this blog) So the big attraction of these bars is the zip wires they have constructed from bamboo and steel lines. To be safe they have dug the river deeper. On the other hand they haven't thought about tourists drinking and jumping off 5 metre high bamboo constructions which at the start of the jump have rocks sticking out of the water. As Em put it when you arrive in Lao you sign away all insurance claims just by entering the country. So with that in mind we both had a go. Note to self: 5 metres is a long way to drop into a moving river when you haven't done it before. I did survive so much so that Em had a go on a slightly smaller zip wire. Unfortunately we don't have any photos of her being unusually brave because she said it was too risky to take the camera. But not too risky to jump off a ramshackle flying fox that was being operated by a 12 year old!

After a few jumps off we moved on down the river and came across lots more bars, one had a huge concrete slide into the river and the biggest zip wire on the river (about 10 metres). We didn't try that one. Em and I weren't drinking on that day and you get a real impression of why most people who visit Lao. They are there to drink very cheaply and a lot to procure said illegal substances. It is illegal in case you were wondering but there are plenty of offers to tourists.

The best part of the journey was the huge party the local people were having down the river a bit, with tables and chairs in the water and everyone having a blast. Unfortunately nobody invited us to hang out but we still splashed lots of kids with water.

We floated down the river some more and realised we were getting perilous close to being fined for missing our deadline. We started at 3pm and had to be back by 6pm. The river did us no favours, at one point it seemed to be floating the other way. We had to walk the last kilometre because the river was too shallow to float on and ergo were fined for the privilige. I did complain when we got back that they didn't turn the river on fast enough, but I think it was lost on the guy.

It was a lot of fun none the less. When the river is flowing fast it's apparently 4x faster, which would be really cool.

The next day we convinced the Irish couple to come with us to visit a huge cave six km from town with a blue lagoon inside the cave that u could swim in. Lonely Planet said it had a blue lagoon so it must have right? We hired some bicycles and knocked over the 6km quite easily considering it was about 37C. So get to the cave and there are about 200 people celebrating NY. Now when I say celebrating Lao style that involves the biggest speakers you can find and turning them up until the entire countryside is reverberating. Then everyone stands right next to said speakers and jumps up and down while everyone sprays water in the air. Think gentle mosh pit with mudbath.

So we head on into the cave to escape the mayhem and get about 20 metres in when we realise that even with headlamps you can't see a thing, so we got a kid to guide us around with the express instruction to show us the blue lagoon. He showed us the buddha statue, the bats (which we didn't ask to see), a second chamber but no blue lagoon. Then when we get out he asks for his money and we ask where is the blue lagoon? His reply "No lagoon." Backed up by the adult next to him. The only lagoon within coeee of the cave was a pitiful little kiddie pool right next to one of the biggest speakers. I can't wait to write to Lonely Planet about their exhaustive research policy!!!!! Hence the 6km journey back to town wasn't so exciting.

So all four of us decided to exit the town and booked a bus/kayak trip to the capital of Lao, Vientiane.

The tour involved being put in the back of a truck with said characters: 2 Aussies, 2 Irish, 1 English, 1 Canadian, 1 Austrian and 2 somewheres (they didn't talk to anyone). It seemed like a good crew till I asked the Pom how long he had been in Lao and he stared at me like I had provided him with some esoteric secret to join Oprah's book club. He told me he'd been there about a month. And he had really enjoyed it. Now I don't care who you are you can't enjoy Lao for a whole month without being drunk everyday (BeerLao is possibly the nicest beer I've ever drunk, and at AU$2 a 660ml bottle whose arguing) or smoking yourself into paranoid oblivion. In this poor boy's case both was the answer.

My suspicions were confirmed when I asked him what part of England he was from and he told me central London. Yet he had never heard of Chiswick!!@! After an hour and a half of being buffeted by water buckets and hard plastic water bombs (Part of Em's brain came out her ear at one stage) we arrived at the start of our kayaking expedition. Now I say expedition, I mean kiddie river floating. It was an 8km stretch and had one rapid, very small rapid. Surprisingly the English guy and the people who dare not speak still managed to capsize their kayak. We stopped at the rapid for lunch (wonderful Lao bbq of skewered vegies and chicken). The English guy further confirmed by suspicions of him being an idiot by rolling a joint that would have needed a tripod to maintain structure had it been any bigger. We continued on after lunch and a strange thing started to happen. The English (I know, he's my blog writing dream come true) guy on two seperate occasions jumped out of the kayak and floated behind for a few minutes. Maybe it's a cure for constipation in England but when there are other people in the river, it's just weird.

Just before we finished our kayaking trip the guide asked who wanted to do a cliff jump into the river. Now I know I shouldn't say yes before finding out what it involved but I did anyway. I thought it would be a relatively easy 3 metre drop into soft, cuddly water. It turned out to be a 10 metre suicide drop over a blind edge. My first look over the edge resulted in legs that went so weak, modern science hasn't yet found a way of replicating. Oddly enough my good friend the English guy jumped without a hint of concern. His Olympics sanctioned urine test comes back next week. My guess is...

While myself, the Irishman and the Austrian girl were up there panicking and hoping we would get the courage to jump, the English guy jumped again. After I had backed away the second time, the Austrian girl decided to walk to edge and I just reassuringly said, "I'll let your mother know you loved her." To which she replied "She's dead already." So not to be outdone I replied "Well, that'll save time." She gave up jumping soon after I said that. I don't think she was offended, but you can never tell with these Austrians, they always sound so upbeat, like their skipping along to the Sound of Music soundtrack.

Eventually I fell over the edge by accident, it did take about ten minutes to remind myself that I probably wouldn't die. Em got it on video, hopefully I'll have a chance to put it on youtube/blog before I do something stupid again without the camera. Falling ten metres into water does sting, don't let anyone tell you different, especially if their English.

The last section of our trip to Vientiane was by minivan, which was very fortunate considering how many people were out throwing water at cars nearby. We saw the most awful post-accident on our way into town. A bunch of people sitting in the back of a ute had been thrown out after the driver ran into two scooters. The ute was upside down but we don't know if anyone died. One ambulance did turn up to help and check everyone but medical services aren't very advanced in Lao. It's surprising more people didn't end up in accidents considering how wet the roads were during the NY celebrations.

My two favourite Tourists

1) The first one was the little guy we bumped into at the tubing zip wire. I was behind him in the line climbing up and had the fortune of being on the platform when he took off. Except he didn't take off and let go, he held on so he could push off the platform on his way back. Now I'm not the biggest fan of heights and I'm sure it appeared strange to everyone that the next guy about to jump into midwire was crouching down to hold onto the platform. The guy did eventually let go but he did have a severe case of wanting to chew his face off. He really needed a chuppa chup but they are hard to find in Lao.

2) Number two and my favourite space cadet tourist in Lao comes from Ireland. Not to be mistaken for the Irish couple we spent a few days travelling with. He was orginally from Cork but had spent the previous three years in Japan pretending to teach English. How can anyone from Cork teach English to Japanese students, they can barely speak English themselves! This guy was a redhead with a beard and the reason he wins my favourite tourist award is because he as straight as a post told me about the suit he had custom made in Thailand just a few weeks before to coincide with his return to Ireland for the wedding season. He had paid a bit more than he wanted to for the suit but as he said, " I got it just the way I wanted it." Now what you think when he says that is not what he was thinking when he said that. His perfect suit was a green velvet with thick purple pin stripes and a silver tie. I repeat a red headed with beard Irishman in a green velvet suit with purple pin stripes and a silver tie. I need say no more.

Vientiane was a low point of the whole trip. It was hot humid and didn't cool down at night. It was also overpriced (NY), booked out and the entire city was closed, presumably to recover from one massive collective hangover.

The highlights of the stay were:

1. The air con cafe called JoMa which was a wall of cool as you came in. The made a great banana cake and a lovely cuppa.

2. The buddha park which Mum you would love but would need to get a few buckets of colour and throw them around.

3. Minor highlights were the Arc de Triumphe and the shiny gold temple.

Oh and you can arrange a visa in less than 24hrs which we did and promptly left this place.

The international airport was the most laid back airport we have seen, even comparing to Hobart which is only a fake international airport anyway.

Bus Trip to Vang Vieng or something like that

So we got up early to get to the Luang Prabang bus terminal to catch our VIP bus to Vang Vieng. We should have known it wouldn't go well when all the buses were made by Hyundai, but we're still a bit green. Supposedly the only difference between VIP buses and minivans is that VIPs always have air-con. As we found out at the hottest part of the day, air-con doesn't always work on VIP buses either.

The road to VV is considered one of the windiest roads on the major tourist trails in Lao PDR, so much so that the Lonely Planet Guide says if you don't take motion sickness tablets, you're mad. We took ours but there was one Aussie girl on the bus who didn't read the guide. We had to deal her some motion sickness tablets halfway.

You would think when you've turned green at the 400th bend in the road and someone gives you free motion sickness tablets that you would take the max dose and just say thank you. But no in Lao everyone is trying to give you fake motion sickness tablets so you can't trust anyone including fellow Aussies! Silly girl only took half the dose and correspondingly only felt a little bit better.

The trip itself was one of the most picturesque drives we'd been on. We were so high up in the mountains at one stage that the sponge cake wrapper that they gave to us at the start of the trip nearly burst open from the altitude pressure. For some reason the road commitee decided a road would be better at the top of the mountain instead of alongside it.

A lot of small villages were dotted along the edge of the road and the edge of the mountain at the same time. One of the villages was being supported by World Vision such is the socioeconomic background in such a remote part of the world. Kids seemed to go to school in Luang but there didn't even seem a notion of having a school or education as it would be of little benefit. It won't take you anywhere. There were a lot of satellite dishes though.

So about the hottest part of the day the air-con stopped working and one of the fan belts started smoking on the bus. When you're only 50kms from your destination that is torture especially when the driver decides he needs to slow down or stop. Oh yeah the music for 6 hours straight we got to listen to the best of Lao folk pop. It was only slightly better than the arthouse film that they screened. It was this experimental film where they filmed these people on a bus from Luang to VV in black and white. Not much happened though, I think the air-con must have broken on their bus too cause they looked a bit hot and bothered towards the end.

Luang Prabang Day 2

Today we met up with the crew from the boat and headed to the Kuang Si waterfalls. Its a 32km trip with 13 of us piled into the back of a songthaew and we got the first taste of the water throwing part of the new year festival.



The rules are simple.

1. It is fine to throw water into moving vehicles. In fact its better as they can't retaliate.

2. Water pistols are fine but buckets are more effective

3. Tourists are the favourite targets



We were drenched 10 times before we arrived at the falls by giggling locals. One bucket landed so effectively in my lap I was left with a small pond with a beetle floating in it.

We arrived at the falls and had some minor haggling arguments between the group on price but that was 10 minutes that couldn't spoil the day.

The falls were gorgeous. The water cascaded down into a pool that was turqoiuse and slightly opaque (I assume from the mineral content). The water ran over rocks but they were coated in what looked like stalitites but muddy and moss covered. The first two ponds you couldn't swim in so we took some photos and then went in search of the swimming area. We climbed up the side to the top of the falls and the water was much clearer and normal coloured and ran over rocks which you could walk over. It felt lovely to have cool water rushing over your feet and hear the roar of the falls. There was also this hole in the rock that ran all the way through to join the water coming out the end- like a reverse blow hole. We have this great video of it.



We then began to think the swimming thing was a farce but saw a sign to a cave and spring water 3km away. So we headed off. The distances quoted are always only loosely accurate and it was a fair trek to the cave but it was worth it. The cave extended for about 50m into the mountain. About half way in we caught up with 4 other guys who were navigating there way around with the flash off their cameras. There were glad we arrived with a headlamp. The cave had lots of little buddha statues and two larger ones as well as crystallised areas of the walls. A bit like jenolan but the mini version (one without lights or pathways). We explored in for a bit before seeing some bats. A which point the two females in the group decided rabies would not be fun and suggested we head back. The boys were a little dissapointed they didn't get to the end but I think were glad for the excuse we gave.

We powered back in the hope to find somewhere to cool off before meeting the songthaew to go back. The swimming area was huge and had three tiers (reminding me of the 46m buddha that was hiding from us in bangkok). There was a small waterfall you could jump off into the water and a rope swing that the locals made good use of as well. The water was beautiful and cool and it was rivalled Ko Rok for the best swimming so far. There were lots of locals being the weekend which made the atmosphere that bit more jubuliant. Jono jumped off the top of the waterfall, somewhat hesitantly but survived nonetheless. On our way back to the front gate we saw some rescued sunbears hanging about in their kindergarten playground enclosure. It was a mile in front of the elephant enclosure in Thailand. These sunbears had been poached and the poachers caught and hopefully dealt with, while the sunbears were put in a safe enclosure because they simply would have been caught again if they had been released back into the forest. They are the smallest bear in the world, but still have some big teeth.

We watched the sun set from the hill over the Mekong the had a few drinks with the Irish couple we met in a garden bar that serves Beerlao as well as buckets of tiger beer, lao lao (whisky) cocktails and gives a free shot of pink whisky on arrival.

Pink whisky is not good for you.

We had to run the last few hundreds metres home to escape the torrential downpour that started at 12am. As if the weather was enforcing the nightly curfew here.

Luang Prabang

The first night in Luang Prabang we stayed in a guesthouse that seems fine when we first arrived. Unfortunately it sounded like their was not only a karaoke party in the room til 3am (despite the 12am curfew) but also a shed of rooster from 4am. The mattress was a spring mattress but there was two layers of cotton between you and the springs. Anyway suffice to say not much sleep was had that night.

So we got up and checked out about 10 other places and moved somewhere in a street with a school that had quiet rooms (still one rooster and a few calling cats) with a decent bed.

We slept most of the day but had a nice meal at one of the street vendors and pottered about the night market. The night market here is really relaxing with very little haggling and some lovely hand made crafts. No puma rip offs, still some souvenirs shirts but you expect that. The colours are beautiful and its really very peaceful. There are some very fancy shops (french heritage buildings) and wine bars where those with euros and pounds can spend their dosh.

7th to 9th of April- Mighty Mekong

We first endured an 8 hour mini van ride to Chiang Khong. The border of Thailand and Lao.

Endured is putting it mildly. Our minivan ride left Chiang Mai at 12pm with a motley crew of three Norwegians, 1 Belgian, us and an American. There were a couple of others but they were unremarkable and I had taken my motion meds and was passed out for the first four hours. Sometimes they work too well. The halfway house was an interesting place only for the fact that the shop lady knew how to say what was on the menu and no stop for another 4 hours and then look at you blankly if you asked any questions. On the second stretch one of the Norwegian girls had the genius idea of opening a warm can of tuna in a barely airconditioned van. Never have I disconnected intelligence with blonde hair for 40 minutes straight without ever uttering a word out loud. I couldn't really say anything, they were all bigger than me.

Stayed the night in Chiang Khong at a new guesthouse before crossing the border at Huay Xai into Lao.

Part of the travel package is staying at the guesthouse and eating at the guest house. At dinner we shared a table with two Persians (not the fluffy kind) and the Belgian and the American. You can probably pick-up the theme at this stage. I think after that meal I had lost all desire to visit the USA ever again. Ever. Especially South Carolina. Enough said. Although sitting next to a woman (the Belgian) who can speak 6 languages was a little daunting.

First day we were tossed back and forth between places for hours (having our passports checked so many times I can't count) before finally boarding our boat to Pak Beng. We stayed the night in Pak Beng. I choose not to relive this experience.

Tossed back and forth we were. We also got caught up in the best scam for a group of tourists ever. So imagine you know you're heading to a river town and there is a max capacity and when you're about to get on the boat some of the tour operators tell you you're the last to leave and because it is Thai/Laos New Year (songkran festival - celebrates movement from pisces to aries, but everyone really just throws water at each other) there won't be any accommodation when you arrive and there especially won't be any because you are the last boat to leave that day. You know you're being rorted but you can't do anything about it. Facts - there was way too many places to stay when we got there we could barely get up the hill for kids trying to take us to guesthouses and we were the only boat ALL DAY.

When we got to Pak Beng that was the most crazy situation I've ever seen. As the boat was parking inbetween two other ferries, all the local kids started boarding our boat to help carry our bags. Now Lonely Planet warns you about this scam but they don't describe it very well. Imagine if you will a boat docking with about 70 people on board and as you hit the shore, everyone is starting to grab their bags to get off. Well imagine that 70 people turning into 100 people in two minutes for all the local kids trying to lift your bags, you telling them to rack off and then taking twice as long to get off the boat because they decide even though they climbed into the boat they would like to go out the front door!!!!

And then when you get off there are another 30 or so people trying to send you fifteen different directions to places you weren't meant to go or shouldn't. My favourite wowser of that night was this guy who walked up to me and asked us where we were staying. I told him and he asked me for the receipt. So I said do you work there and he said yes! Now that's an invitation I didn't need but I still got. At that point I took him up on the offer and said, "Great you can show us where it is then we can talk to the manager (he was just another scoundrel anyway so it wouldn't have helped in hindsight) and ask him if you work there." I kinda lost sight of him after 2 metres further up the hill. He must have dropped something I guess, poor bloke.

We decided to go try an Indian restaurant when we got unpacked and guess what we bumped into the Belgian and the American. Oh the joy! It turned out really well because the Amercian in her 20's was a republican. Now you can't get better odds than that. I was quite respectful but the Belgian, you know the one with 6 languages, put it so well. She simply said, " The problem with America is I can't vote for the President, but whoever gets elected affects ME!" Now that was the only time knowing the American where she didn't say anything for 30 seconds. Ahhh, the sound of one hand clapping. Em and I are thinking of moving to Belgium.

The next day of boating was quite pleasant in parts and we saw blue sky in patches for the first time in weeks (the haze in Chiang Mai was always in the way). The were some very picturesque little villages on the banks of the Mekong we arrived in Luang Prabang in daylight.

The part two was much better. The motley crew of pirates on the boat consisted of Dutch, Aussies, Danish and others. We met an Irish couple on their way to Australia who were quite normal and had the chance to impart some local knowledge that was hopefully useful. You know which footy team they should support and stuff like that. The dutch crew certainly were some of the lieveliest people on the boat, that may have had something to do with the abundance of Beerlao on board. My favourite boat member was a guy from New Zealand.

His name was Virion, or something like that. Generally I wouldn' talk to a Kiwi but while the Irish couple were down the back getting some food he decided he'd just sit in there seat. When the Irish guy got back to sit down, the Kiwi with his feet lazed out on the seats said hello and proceeded to apologise for sitting in his seat but then stayed there. Not only did he do that but he insulted the cookie monster t-shirt he was wearing! And then when he asked him where he was heading after Lao, which he'd said NZ eventually, the Irish guy added in he was going to be in Australia before that, the Kiwi, sorry Virion said I'm sorry you have to go to Australia and speak to Australians before you come to NZ. He didn't know where we were from at this stage. But he sure as heck did after he said that. I'm not sure if the guy was stupid or just tired from the boat trip but what is one Kiwi thinking when there are 6 Aussies on a boat and no Maori bouncers to kick you off. Needless to say he didn't ask me my name or anything else after that.

He did have it coming though. Within the first hour of being on the boat the second morning he decided he'd do his yoga routine at the front of the boat. And I don't mean any boring yoga stretches. I mean stand on your head while crossing your legs and shoving your crotch in the face of fellow travellers. A general note of recommendation for those thinking of doing some random personal exercise on a crowded boat over the Summer. It does not go down well, at all, at all. Especially if you're from New Zealand and you have to join the NRL because nobody else will play with you. I really enjoyed telling the Irish couple some Kiwi jokes for their trip to NZ in Jan.

Monday 6th of April

Em's Birthday in Chiang Mai.

For the first time in Em's birthday history we were somewhere hot on her birthday, enough to have a real pool party and alas nowhere near water.

What was arguably the best part of the day was when we were out at breakfast and I asked our waiter for the bill/cheque (You use both terms here so they understand because the USA/UK terminology is confusing.) So the guy says yes, goes away and this guy we've never seen walks over and tells us how much the breakfast cost. Now I can only assume his name was Bill and we'd unwittingly asked to speak to him not knowing that he had a french surname.

To be really pampered we had a 2.5hour spa package. Herbal steam, body scrub, body wrap, facial and aromatherapy oil massage.

Interestingly spas in thailand are run out of people's homes. It was very relaxing but I did have to convince myself that the salt body scrubbing that was really verging on torture was therapeutic. I don't know if doxycycline is making my skin sensitive or not but I felt like my skin was burning. The wrap was fantastic and the massage lovely (no yoga style stretches or pummeling).

Relaxed and called home in the afternoon and then out to dinner. Went to the Chiang Mai night bazaar to get some seafood for dinner, they have the biggest lobsters in the world here not to mention the King prawns. It has quite a relaxed atmosphere especially seeing there aren't many tourists here.

Tomorrow we head to the border between Laos and Thailand. It takes about three days to get to our destination (Luang Prabang) between minivan and boats, staying overnight in small villages.

Sunday 5th April

We went gathering food for breakfast at our guesthouse last night. Managed to find bread, butter (at Tescos- there was extra walking involved for this) a young coconut and picked up two bags of fruit (rockmelon and watermelon- already cut into beautifully shaped portions- its held together with a bamboo skewer for eating on the run). I managed to open the coconut with a meat cleaver without ending up in hospital and we also were adventurous and picked up some sticky sweet stuffed covered in coconut jelly and wrapped in a banana leaf.

We then went to the Insect Museum. Tim and Steph also went here when they were here. The guy is really eccentric and despite his best efforts I still intend to kill every mosquito that comes near me (even if they just want to give me a kiss as he suggested) some species of mosquito may be good but I'm not taking the chance. He told a lovely story about the lucky vulture egg (stone) that his grandmoher gave him and a rather unpleasant sorry about how he survived malaria without treatment.

He was treated just not by anything you'd consider medicine. Think cutting to make you bleed and that's the medicine he was subjected to. He did get better, but that which precedes a good outcome is not necessarily the cause of it. Of the 436 mosquitos there are 10 that transmit disease. This guy was a trained lawyer so I don't believe him especially seeing his wife who has a phd in entomology said in a newspaper interview, " Mozzies are my enemy." Yep that'll do it for me, the chick whose been studying them for 50 years said she doesn't like them and I'm not one to disagree with that.

After the museum we walked to the vegetarian centre cafeteria. When we arrived it looked rather closed beacuse its closed on the weekend but I hadn't realised that) one of the women who worked there saw us and came up. She said that they would be open at 6am tomorrow, because 6 sounded rather early I tried to ask when they closed. I'm not sure how it happened but she decided to usher us into the centre, sit us down and let us share their lunch. Like an italain grandmother or thai one probably she filled our bowls and got us water and even gave us sweet tamarind to eat. It was realy lovely and the food was really yummy. She told us she had been working there for 10 years and taught the new staff how to cook. We left feeling very lucky and very surpised.

When Em says she hadn't realised they weren't open on the weekend, what she really means is she didn't read the open Mon-Fri in the guidebook, and nearly had us abducted by old Thai woman who wanted us to eat raw vegies without any meat at all. Ahhh the pain.

We then walked to Airport Plaza and saw Fast and Furious 4. Jono will have to comment on the movie.

Think of a really good film and then know this one is better. Unfortunately there seem to be less cars to play with than the previous movies but the Skyline gets centre stage again. Do yourselves a favour... What can I say Vin Diesel is back.

Saturday 4 th april

After breakfast we set off to meet Phra Tea to go to Doi Suthep. Jono berated me for my foolishness when I suggested the city gate was where we were meeting him but had to eat his words after walking back to the city gate to meet him exactly where I said (I waited where he was convinced we were meeting and enjoyed an ice coffee).

The guy who made my ice coffee also deserves a mention, he had one of the moving stalls that is attached to a scooter and carried his ice in an esky on the back. His name was Arm and he had a spray paint design of his smiling face with ultra cool sunnies in black on his orange esky. He mixed my ice coffee not in a blender but between two carnation sweetened condensed milk cans pouring from about 1m between the two. Very sytlish and all for 20B.

We braved the horrible winding road up to Doi Suthep in a songthaew and then the 306 stairs to the top. Prae Tea showed us round and explianed the place to us. The view would be amazing without the haze.

We watched a half of the Hawthorn vs Sydney game in a Irish Pub before heading out shopping for breakfast.

Football's fun to watch in a pub, except one with nothing but Irish and Aussie guys being loud with each other. We did get to try beer with ice. Not sure it would hold off a hangover or improve the taste of the beer for that matter. Interestingly the manager/owner of the bar came in to tell us he'd have to move us for the premier league match. He'd been out drinking all day and could barely stand up without swaying from side to side. Ahhh responsible service of alcohol. As long as your not as drunk as the owner you're sober.

3rd April

Today was a quiet day. We went to the forest wat which was very atmospheric, with lots of signs posted on trees and a small artificial lake apparently (we couldn't find it). The most interesting were the tunnels under the hill that the main chedi was on. Just high enough for me to walk through and thankfully lit by lights (it was still a little claustrophobic).

We had a vegetarian buffet lunch at which I tried to sample every dish on offer and the desserts as well. Quite tasty but not as spectacular as our dinner there a week before. Afternoon nap to digest lunch before heading out to dinner (there is some walking involved to conteract the amount of food consumed) at a market. Jono sampled KFG (fried chicken) and we have a great photo of him out the front of the stall. We soaked up the atmosphere of the market (as well as the car fumes) and then wandered back to the guesthouse. The best part of the city doesn't really start until about 8pm when it cools down and everyone is out eating.

Thursday 2nd April

We got up early (8:30am) after being woken at 5am by chanting outside our window, or so it felt, apparently it was across the river.

5am was if you weren't really listening all night to the hill tribe partying. Apparently it was some Buddhist festival for young boys like bamitzvah/first communion etc and they pay for an all night party. Except if you're not invited, it kinda takes the fun out of it. There was also a kind of hush hush conspiracy going on in Pai, because all the tourists who were kept up at night started asking what was going on last night and most of the locals were going "What music/noise/sounds, I don't know what you're talking about." There was a lot of banging drums and singing very badly.

We headed off to the largest of the falls- Mok Paeng it was quite pretty and we had a great time along the way. Watching chickens and even this family of pigs. One pig was doing its thing rooting in the ground and his side kick chicken was waiting for him to stir up some worms. Very cute.

Unfortunately the hill tribe people that look after this area don't have much help from the local council to keep it clean. It had more rubbish in one spot than I've ever seen and that includes the MCG after a Carlton v Collingwood game. There was also a herd of Jersey looking cows wandering around whichwas cool, but the pigs I nearly ran over in the scooter were the coolest. Everyone should have pigs and chickens their cool.

We headed back into town, acquired some meds for nausea and were on our way back to Chiang Mai.

Arrived back in Chiang Mai. The meds worked, no motion sickness nausea stuff. Admittedly Jono was passed out for the entire trip (one side effect of taking the maximum dose) and Em was acting like Lt. Dan from Forrest Gump on the shrimp fishing boat during a monsoon, "Is that all you've got?" to the windy roads.

Day 20 Really another day

Today we hired a bike and rode to the hot springs. One bonus about low season is that there was no one there and we got to bathe in the hot mineral bath part by ourselves. Best bath ever, so hot even Steph you would have found it warm. Really helped you cool down when you got out.

We rode back and started on our way to Mae Yen waterfall. We left the bikes and one point and started walking, it is supposed to be 7km so we headed out. We stopped after an hour when we met up with a couple who had stopped after 2 hours. We found out later it takes 3 hours to get there each way.

There's a little thing in this country that is forgotten well and truly and that's safety. If on the tourist map you have a picture, the biggest picture of a waterfall on the map and 7km by foot next to it, you probably need to provide a little more information!!!!! Like it's a six hour return journey on an unmarked trail criss-crossing a river/stream with a bit of slippery log crossings required. And it wasn't even picturesque. No flowers, no beautiful plants. The only colourful thing on the walk was a blue poly pipe that piped water down from the mountain.

And that brings me onto another of my new pet loves, plumbing. It would be good if the pipes attached to buildings actually plumbed something. Sometimes there just there for decoration, others they just flood out onto a piece of land for no particular reason other than the owner's block finished there and the council/government hadn't put in a pipe to connect to it. Most of the pipes are external inside the building...aesthetics people.

So we had lunch instead. Tomorrow we we try to get to biggest of the falls (apparently only an hour away and very little walking).

Day 19

Flying to Pai...we wish. That only takes 20 mins. We had the pleasure of enduring another 3 hours on a bus on some of the windiest roads in the world. Tim and Steph had warned us. That doesn't help you retain your breakfast, not that we lost it, it just wasn't where it should been after the trip.

We arrived in Pai and ended up after a detour at the place we booked (who couldn't have us one of the other guests got ill and had to go to hospital) at the Breeze of Pai. The second place we have ended up at through no planned effort that Tim and Steph stayed at.

We headed out for dinner and about half way there the power goes out. Lucky we had brought our head lamp. We arrived at the pizza place the guide recommends. Which was eerily dark (like everywhere else but they seemed to be a little more stingy with the candles) and had only one other diner. We were cautious an just ordered a cheese, basil and tomato pizza. It was really good, nice thin base and holy basil tastes quite good even if it isn't authentic.

We walked back and had a drink at a bar along the way. Now unfortunately Steph Pai is probably fantastic in high season but in low season most places are closed (the vegetarian resturant included) and the only travellers left seem to be posers. The hot season is low season because the slash and burn argiculture leaves a haze that covers the entire valley obscuring the hills and the rice paddies and jungle are dry. I can see the beauty that would be here though.